The Power of Regret | Daniel Pink

Why I Wrote The Power of Regret

What You'll Learn in The Power of Regret

Regret makes us human. Regret is not dangerous or abnormal. It is one of our most common emotions – and, treated properly, one of our most valuable.
Regret makes us better. When we confront our regrets – rather than ignore them or wallow in them – this emotion can be an engine of progress. It can deepen our learning, sharpen our decisions, and clarify what we value.
There is a hidden architecture beneath our regrets. Around the world, people seem to have the same four core regrets. Foundation regrets (“If only I’d done the work.” Boldness regrets (“If only I’d taken the chance.”) Moral regrets (“If only I’d done the right thing.”) Connection regrets (“If only I’d reached out.”)
Science offers a three-step process for turning regrets into progress. 1. Treat your regrets with kindness rather than contempt. 2. Talk about or write about your regrets to relieve the burden and make sense of them. 3. Take a step back and draw a specific lesson from the regret than you can apply in the future.
Regret shows us how to live well. By understanding what people regret the most, we uncover what they value the most. In that way, regret—painful though it may be—serves as a compass for a meaningful life.

Most Highlighted on Kindle

"Regret is not dangerous or abnormal, a deviation from the steady path to happiness. It is healthy and universal, an integral part of being human. Regret is also valuable. It clarifies. It instructs. Done right, it needn’t drag us down; it can lift us up. P. 8 (1,724 highlighters)"
"Nearly all regrets fall into four core categories— foundation regrets,boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. P. 15 (1,639 highlighters)"
"This is one of the central findings on regret: it can deepen persistence, which almost always elevates performance. P. 45 (1,458 highlighters)"
"If you have a broken heart, it means you have done something big enough and important enough and valuable enough to have broken your heart. P. 57 (1,458 highlighters)"
"Regret is quintessential upward counterfactual– the ultimate If Only. The source of its power, scientists are discovering, is that it muddles the conventional pain- pleasure calculus. Its very purpose is to make us feel worse— because by making us feel worse today, regret helps us do better tomorrow. P.39 (1,359 highlighters)"
"In short, all of us experience the day in three stages—a peak, a trough, and a rebound. And about three-quarters of us (larks and third birds) experience it in that order. But about one in four people, those whose genes or age make them night owls, experience the day in something closer to the reverse order—recovery, trough, peak."

Purchase Now:

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

A compelling exploration of how embracing our regrets can guide us toward wiser choices, deeper meaning, and greater personal growth.

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Awards & Accolades

Instant New York Times Bestseller:
Debuted at #3 on the New York Times Hardcover Nonfiction list.

Named a Best Book of the Year by NPR and Financial Times

Named an Editor's Pick and a Best Book of the Year by Amazon

Translated into 33 languages

“Daniel Pink reclaims regret as an indispensable emotion and explains how to use it to make better decisions, perform better at work or school and bring greater meaning to your life. His well‑known, user‑friendly style, chock‑full of moving stories, will have you looking at regret as something that doesn’t just make us human, but also makes us better.”

The Wall Street Journal

“As he so often does, Daniel Pink transformed my understanding of a subject and convinced me of the power of regret…Every time I read a Daniel Pink book, I walk away a better and more informed person.”

Sanjay Gupta, M.D

Chief Medical Correspondent, CNN

“Prolific author Pink seamlessly blends neuroscience, psychology and more for a new look at what he sees as a misunderstood emotion—regret. Pink draws on the largest survey ever done about Americans’ attitudes toward regret to reshape the way we think about it, creating his own three‑step process for using regret to one’s advantage in this inspiring guide.”

Newsweek

“The Power of Regret dives deep into the research behind the ‘most misunderstood’ emotion and brings it to life through accessible human storytelling.”

Forbes

"The world needs this book."

Brené Brown

Bestselling author of Dare to Lead

"This pragmatic guide to harnessing the power of the past…assembles an impressive array of research and includes some moving stories of people dealing with mistakes…readers looking to shake their shame should start here.”

Publishers Weekly

"An insightful and rewarding glimpse into the emotional pathways of human contrition. . . .Pink offers practical guidance on how readers can thrive beyond their mistakes, molding them into learning opportunities.”

Kirkus

“If you have long assumed that 'no regrets’ is the way to live life, then this book is for you. The incomparably candid, clear, and concise Daniel Pink summarizes the latest science on looking backward on what could have been and shows how it can vault you forward to a happier, more productive, and principled life.”

Angela Duckworth

Bestselling author of Grit

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