Pinkcast 2.16: This is how to give better feedback in just 19 words
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
- To find out more about The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups, visit Daniel Coyle’s site.
- The research comes from “Breaking the cycle of mistrust: Wise interventions to provide critical feedback across the racial divide,” which appeared in the April 2014 edition of the Journal of Experimental Psychology.
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I recently heard the same thing from reading Chip and Dan Heath’s new book too. Saying that you have high expectations allows the individual to feel that they can achieve and will achieve the results the feedback provides. Great input Dan!
Thanks Dan this is a really useful tip. Letting the person know upfront that we have high expectations of them really is a true trust builder. Safety is the most important characteristic that employees need to engage better as shown in the study done by Google titled Aristotle. The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle is a neat book on culture liked it.
It’s certainly important for everyone to develop skill in giving and receiving feedback. Where I’ve seen any technique fall flat is when the feedback giver is the least bit incongruent in their messaging.Tone of voice is EVERYTHING, and if because of incongruence, the recipient feels it’s disingenuous, it’s possible the feedback recipient may not find it acceptable. And….if there’s a history of DISTRUST in this relationship…be prepared for a long haul to change the dynamic. Delivery not withstanding, I like the intent of this preface. Guess I’ll have to read the book to find out more!
The Pygmalion effect…
Excellent tip! This simple preamble exemplifies a Growth Mindset, as Carol Dweck explains. It also fits nicely with the suggested questions for kids in your 20 March newsletter. And yes, my experience as a leadership development consultant and coach IS consistent with your hunch that the questions work well for adults. Psychological safety is really important for encouraging growth mindset in others (see David Rock’s work on neuroleadership and the SCARF model). People with a growth mindset welcome and view effort, challenge, setback, and failure as part of anything worth doing, whether in work, school, or life in general. My most successful clients use every opportunity, regardless of outcome, as a chance to learn and grow. I try to do that, too, and I appreciate tips like these. Thanks, Dan!
Stace, you get it – a growth mindset is everything. And even high-achievers have beaten-down days where a growth mindset is difficult to muster, but remains a foundational expectation.
Not only does this work but students would often tell me, at the end of the semester, that the most important thing they felt was that they didn’t want to disappoint me.
Giving and getting these 19 words is equally powerful . Giving someone a reputation to live up to is one of the things Dale Carnegie highly recommended. Set high expectations and encouraging people to set high expectations for themselves and those around them, equally powerful. Thanks Dan.
Right now I am working on your recommendation to be mindful of timing.
Thank you Dan!
I have found various ways of providing feedback, even coined it FeedForward at one time…and am so excited to add this one. Think it will work very well with the more difficult personalities too.
Excellent method if it’s a supervisor or teacher or parent giving the feedback to someone who is not a peer. Peer-to-peer or friend-to-friend it would now work, though.
WOW! As a teacher, this 19 word feedback is EVERYTHING!
THANK YOU for this short, valuable lesson.
Thanks Dan for sharing these words! I think it will help in getting the conversation started when we need to give feedback. No matter who you are talking to it is not always easy to let someone know they need improvement. This is great to add to the list of giving and receiving good, meaningful feedback. The other idea is to set up trust at the very beginning, ask for the other person’s permission to give feedback when it is needed and to let them know it is OK to tell you when something is not meeting expectations. I have used this in starting new relationships and it does work. It opens the door for people to feel comfortable coming to talk with you.
If the ultimate resource is time, not currency, not material possession, but TIME, the Pinkcast is a very worthy gift of that time!
Dan I like it on the surface. My sense is overuse of this could lead to it being ineffective.
I love how short and to the point this is. For me, it puts the tone and emphasis on encouragement and fulfilling potential vs. on conflict, shortcomings or disappointment. Will absolutely be trying this.
Hi Dan – just letting you know that the whalecast link is down. Trying to reach you via email and can find no other way to contact you.
Sorry, I meant shortwhale.
Thank you for a short and sweet excellent tip. I’m sharing this! Can’t wait to try it with my children and my work.