Can you speak human?
In this month’s Sunday Telegraph column, I look a the bizarre, distancing, and vaguely incoherent dialect we often use in business.
Then I lay down a challenge: For the next seven days, don’t say anything to your boss, your staff, your teammate, your supplier or your customer that you wouldn’t say to your spouse or your friend.
Think you can do it?
That’s an interesting challenge. I know several people that should reverse that challenge because they say just about anything to their spouse.
Good column, although on an initial read of the blog post I thought it should be the other way around (I was thinking of how many people take their spouses/friends for granted, speak too casually, maybe even cuss the person out for doing something wrong, etc.).
Is it so bad that we talk different at work than when we talk to people who we don’t make money from?
I think not.
I could not agree more with Kelsey. I do not have to be cautious about sharing my thoughts with my spouse as I feel degree of freedom there.
Whereas, I need to be selective about my words when I communicate to my clients, boss and teammates.
I know what you’re talking about Dan…I work in healthcare and the jargon can cause “multilayered inconsistencies that cause consistently descending levels of empowerment”. This kind of talk turned nice ordinary nouns into verbs too.
I have worked with people for over 25 years and by and large I think I get along well with folks because I speak to them sincerely. No big words. No excuses when I make a mistake. “How can I help?” goes such a long way.
With our increasingly larger elderly population, speaking in clear language will be even more valuable.
Dan, considering how impressed I have been with other things you have given us to ponder, I am a little disappointed in your post.
It seems like many of you missed the point of the article: only speak human at work. Most of us speak plainly to our friends and family, but turn to meaningless jargon as soon as we enter our workplace.
This kind of jargon erodes the value we place on teammates and customers. The only problem is that speaking plainly forces you to completely re-frame problems and uncover how horrendous our so-called solutions can be.
<<>>
@Dave — You’ve got that right. Wish I’d made the point you made in that second sentence. So true.
This makes me smile because it reminds me of a recent conversation I had with a client who is a Director of IT. “Explain your capital budget proposal like you are explaining it to your mother” was the focus. It worked! When she eliminated the jargon, acronyms, and tech-speak, she immediately got understanding and buy-in from her board of directors.
Bravo! I get so sick of corporate buzzwords and phrases that I often yell (at least in my head), “Can you just speak like a normal human being!?” Maybe that’s why I love Dilbert so much, as Scott Adams is a master at skewering this ridiculous sub-culture and it’s language.
Wow. I feel better now. Thanks for allowing the rant.
We’re in the process of redesigning report cards for parents. The A-F is not cutting it now because we have way too many students get A’s in courses and then fail the ECA (end of course assessment). This column will help as we decide how to really communicate achievement gains to parents. As Eric says, “can you just speak like a normal human being?”
I’ll have to get back to you on that as soon as I can get some face time to dialogue with my spousal equivalent.
Mike
Hi Dan,
I love a challenge. I’m in! I’ve always believed the GOAL of effective communication to be “understanding”. Instead, I think we sometimes try too hard to “impress” vs. “express”. There’s a communication game I play with clients that exposes their ability to achieve 100% accuracy in a set period of time. It’s interesting, as they start to experience, understand, and practice the components of effective communication they start to do better in the game…even though the exercises becomes more difficult! We could save a lot of marriages!!!
Why do we make it so hard? Communication can be so easy if we would just stop trying to impress vs communicate.
but part of the reason we communicate it to impress.
Dan, I offer you the challenge of speaking more clearly. I enjoy your books, but cringe with all the “empowerment” and “incentivize” you throw in them.
My co-workers and I keep some informal rules on writing and speaking, such as only using the word “value” as a noun, not an adjective. No verbs that end in “-ize”. And if you write that you’re a “change agent”, a “first mover”, or that the industry has reached an “inflection point”, we put you in a time machine set for 1998.
Working with students in the health care field I think this is incredibly valuable. I read somewhere, possibly Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink, that if doctors have a good relationship with their patients, i.e., good bedside-manner; which includes, speaking to them on a level that is understandable, and they are compassionate and empathetic, patients are 80-90% less likely to sue them. Most of this has to do with communication skills, I think.
I love the challenge for people to be so congruent in their ‘roles.’
@David — You must be reading someone else’s books. I guarantee you I’ve never used the word “empowerment” in anything I’ve written except to condemn using it. See, for instance, page 91 of Drive, where I explain why “empowerment” is a largely idiotic concept.
Cheers,
Dan
How about teachers talking to kids like people in school? Teachers engage in some sort of “school talk” that alienates kids and doesn’t recognize them as real people. I DON’T mean dumbing down, far from it. I DO mean being real with kids of any age without the BS.
Excellent challenge… reminds me of when I started in government communications and was challenged to go an entire day without using an acronym.
waow..
i love it. i like a challenge
How about taking the challenge a step farther? See the humanity in every human you encounter, everyone at work as well as everyone at home, and of course, everyone on the street and online.
You’ll find yourself speaking human without thinking about it. Your body language will change. You’ll be happier without trying to be happy. Your connections at work and at home will get deeper. You’ll certainly change your world. You might even change the world.
I wrote a parable to illustrate this simple shift. It is based on the real stories of real people. It’s called “Yes, You Can Change the World.” It’s heartening to note that many businesses have been handing it to employes to see the humanity in each other, and to service reps and salespeople to see the humanity in their customers.
Dan, I’d love to send you a copy as my gift to you. Let me know where to send it.
This challenge targets a major problem in human relationships by requiring people to address one another as just that—fellow humans. I love the idea of speaking to others as you would like to be spoken to… Many students (and most adults) would greatly benefit from accepting this challenge!
I think there’s a Thorstein Veblen principle at work in business-speak, something about the ceremonial values that drive institutional behavior. Business jargon is how people dupe themselves (and dupable others) into believing that they know what they’re talking about–a nice irony there.
It’s about the illusion of being in control of The Information.
I like the idea of the challenge, but I’m not sure there’s a simple behaviorial fix for the problem. There probably have to be disincentives. Unless you threaten to fire people or dock their pay (a jargon jar?) for obfuscation, they’re going to obfuscate. It’s like putting on protective gear for a contact sport. It makes some people feel safe.
This is the same thing David Meerman Scott has been driving at for years, and we’re no closer to a gobbledygook-free workplace.
I have no idea why, but my only guess is that the people at the top calling the shots and doing the “leading” have no desire to change. They’ve gotten to where they are, and achieved what they have with their current behaviors.
Strange to see such a lot of negative feedback on this post. I’m currently pushing (along with colleagues in Marketing) to reduce the use of jargon, and also to aim for the simplest way to say things. Corporate language, in my view, creates emotional distance; in our client-focused business, we are constantly aiming for emotional connection, so why use OVERLY formal language?
Dan is not for a moment suggesting that we use inappropriate slang when communicating. He’s simply saying, “talk to your clients and customers as if they were human beings”. Love this post and have forwarded to Marketing to read and absorb into our thinking.